Understandings
by Joy-chan
Summary: -One shot;waff- On the night of the new moon, InuYasha remembers his past and some painful memories about never being accepted..and things his mother told him. Kagome stays with him, will this night help him realize now that he's not alone? InuKag


Disclaimer: Nope, I don't own Inuyasha.  
  
Ok ok, I know.....lol, finish my other stories. Which I will! Summer vacation is here! I had so much studying to do for the finals....That was a crazy last couple of weeks I had.  
  
So yes, I will be updating, as much as I can this summer, unlike the last. This was just a little idea I received from a friend of mine, Chuie! Credit to her! So I decided to make this story, and as of now, I'm planning on making it a one-shot, unless you want me to add some more chapters in it of course. If I do add more chapters the longest this will be is five chapters. Okie? It wouldn't be very long...So if you would like another chapter, please, do say so in a review, because I like this story very much, and I wouldn't mind writing more for it. So please review with comments!!! I have updated Life of Fame, made Realizations (One-shot), Troubles in the Future and I Need You to Listen)  
  
If you have any questions, feel free to ask in your review! And if you have any time, please check out my other stories!  
  
This story is written in Inuyasha's POV. (Point of View)  
  
Okie! Enough with that! On with the story!

* * *

So there I was. Sitting up in a tree as usual, looking up at the horizon as the sun began to set. The sky began to darken but the area around the sun remained full of colors. It would be dark soon, in a few hours maybe. I looked down from where I sat, the fire was already going, thanks to Kagome's magic-sticks....Matches were what she called them. I watched her head to her book bag, that huge yellow bag she seemed to lug around everywhere. She opened it up and began searching for something. Maybe one of those spell books she would use to study for those.....'tests' ....or whatever they were...But without much luck finding whatever she was looking for, her face began became distorted in annoyance.  
  
"Where are they....." I heard her mumble, continuing her frantic search.  
  
Feh. Stupid girl, always wasting time. I looked back out at the sky, seeing nothing in front of me but an endless parade of trees from left to right.  
  
"There!"  
  
_'She must've found what she was looking for.'_ I thought arrogantly, looking down. My ears perked, when she held up a yellow container.  
  
She ran up to the fire, warming up some water. By then I knew exactly what she was doing. Ramen. I felt my ears perk as I gazed down at her as she opened the container.  
  
"Hungry Inuyasha?" She called, smiling up at me.  
  
"Feh." I replied, crossing my arms across my chest, not making any eye contact with her.  
  
For a few moments, I closed my eyes, oblivious to all the routine noises around me.  
  
"Houshi-sama!"  
  
"What..? I wasn't doing anything! I merely brushed up on you, that's all!"  
  
"HENTAI!!"  
  
_'......Damn humans.'_ I thought, keeping my eyes closed, leaning onto the tree trunk. This happens every day. That stupid pervert never learns.  
  
"The ramen's done Inuyasha!" She said standing right below me. I opened my eyes and looked down at her. Avoiding her gaze, I jumped from the branch and headed down to the campfire. She handed me a bowl of ramen, and I grabbed it from her hands and finished it within two minutes, asking for seconds. After all, I am the one who does all the work around here. I deserve a little something extra.  
  
Kagome smiled at me and pointed to a bowl of ramen to my left. I leaned over to get it when that annoying little brat grabs it first.  
  
"Lay off." I say, hitting him hard on the head.  
  
"KAGOMMMEEEEE!!!" He whined crying, holding onto his head.  
  
"Inuyasha!"  
  
"Keh. He deserved it." I said, swallowing the contents within seconds.  
  
"We should go back to Kaede's village. It's going to be cold out today, we'll need a place to stay." Miroku said, getting up.  
  
I lowered my gaze. "Do whatever you want. I'm staying here."  
  
"Huh....? Why?" Miroku asked, obviously confused.  
  
"Leave me alone."  
  
"But Inuyasha—"  
  
"I said leave me alone!" I walked out of the area . Feh. I didn't care what that stupid monk thought, I didn't care what any of them thought...I shook my head, I would meet up with them tomorrow morning at Kaede's village, first thing in the morning.

* * *

I sat on the grass, looking further into the horizon, as it got darker and darker. I heard some leaves rustle behind me. _'Damn it.'_ I thought, getting up with my claws ready.  
  
I was ready to slice my enemy, that is... whoever it was behind there. I flexed my claws back, ready to strike. "SANKONTES-"  
  
"Wait! It's just me!"  
  
I pulled back, shocked when I saw her. See what I mean by these stupid humans?  
  
"What are you doing?! I could've killed you!" I yelled, hiding my concern for her behind an angry façade. I guess the time's coming close. I didn't even smell her.  
  
She smiled at me. "Gomen ne, Inuyasha." Her eyes looked up to mine and I turned away.  
  
"Oi, Inuyasha...?" I heard her say when I turned to go sit on the grass. "Are you alright? Normally you would have sensed me coming."  
  
"Keh." I said, turning away from her. It's almost surprising how well she knows me. But then again it's not. She has known me longer then anyone has in this group. She's seen things in me the others haven't seen....and I hate to admit it...But...she means more to me then them.....No, she doesn't. I shook my head. She's here to help me find the jewel shards. That's it. She's nothing more then that. Right?  
  
...After all, I still have Kikyo to worry about.  
  
"What are you doing here? You're supposed to be with Kaede-baba and the others."  
  
She nodded. "Demo, I wanted to stay with you today. If that's alright?"  
  
I didn't say a word. In a way I was happy she was going to stay with me, but in a way I wasn't. Things never make sense when Kagome's around.  
  
The sun set and I felt the change in my body.  
  
"Inuyasha?" She said, walking towards me. I stayed where I was, paid no attention to her. I felt her hand on my shoulder.  
  
"So today's the night of the new moon...."  
  
"Don't you think I realize that, wench?"  
  
I was ready for a big argument, but she didn't answer. She just smiled at me. "So that's why you were acting so weird today..." I heard her whisper. "Because...well...now you're human."  
  
I stared at her in shock. I didn't say a word.  
  
She was holding a piece of cloth in her hands and she got up and laid it on the grass.  
  
"It's all I was able to bring.", she said shrugging. "I asked Miroku-sama to take the rest of my things to Kaede-ba-chan's hut."  
  
She sat on top of it.  
  
"Inuyasha?"  
  
"What?" I answered, rather rudely.  
  
"Are you still planning on becoming a full-fledged demon?"  
  
I looked at her and smirked. "Of course I do."  
  
"But.....don't you think you can just stay as a hanyou?"  
  
"Keh. Don't question me Kagome. I'm doing whatever I want to do."  
  
She looked at me sadly. "I like you the way you are. I'm happy with you as a hanyou. You're strong enough anyway..."  
  
When she realized I wasn't going to answer she sighed. "Ne, Inuyasha, why don't you come sit with me? It's a bit warmer then just sitting on the grass."  
  
I didn't answer, but complied too her wish. She was right. It was warmer. It was now quiet, silence filled the air. I lay back on the fabric looking up at the stars.....I felt my eyes close when I fell into a deep slumber.....though it wasn't really a slumber....It seemed like a flashback...of everything that ever happened to me.

* * *

I was standing there, still a child, I didn't know how to defend myself. But like any other child, I wanted to play with everyone else, so I approached the village children near the field.  
  
"What do YOU want?" I heard the little boy say, looking at me with a look of pure hate in his eyes.  
  
I tried my best to smile at him. Kaa-san always told me to smile no matter how mean they were to me.  
  
"Can I play?"I asked, looking down at my feet.  
  
"NO! We don't play with ugly half-breeds like you!"  
  
"But...."  
  
"GO AWAY!" I heard him say. He hit me hard in my chest and I fell hard to the ground. He ran away.  
  
Things were always like this. It had been harder since kaa-san and tou-san died. This time, I was really all alone. I fought the tears back in my eyes.  
  
"How come no one wanted to play with me? What was so bad about being a hanyou...?"  
  
I felt the rain trickle down on my head, while the wind started to blow harder. I shivered, since it was almost winter, it was much colder. I headed to the village knocking on a door.  
  
I shivered from the cold and looked up at the lady who answered. Though her eyes were full of hate, I managed to try and smile at her.  
  
"Ano..." I said, looking down, shivering at the rain and wind.  
  
"What do you want half-breed?!"  
  
I couldn't answer. I looked back behind me, huddling myself for warmth. I felt my eyes sting with tears. I needed a place to stay...But I knew I wasn't welcome. So I just hung my head, standing in front of her hoping that she'd at least give me a few kind words before I was kicked off her property.  
  
"WE DON'T OFFER ROOMS TO TRASH LIKE YOU!" She screamed, slamming the door hard in my face. I felt my tears running down, I couldn't stop them. I looked up at the window, and I saw a child making faces at me, sticking their tongue out at me and yelling curses.  
  
"GET OUT OF HERE YOU STUPID HALF-BREED!" I turned around, seeing another child about my age, sneering at me.  
  
He picked up a rock and threw it straight at me.  
  
"But....But why do you all hate me?" I said, through my sobs.  
  
I winced when I felt the rock hit my head with extreme force. I felt it cut my skin, and I knew I was bleeding. "Your kind isn't welcome here. Get out before I hit you more!"  
  
I walked out of the village sighing to myself. I turned around and saw the same kid who hit my head talking with him mom.  
  
"You shouldn't talk to filth like him." His mom said, pulling her son away.  
  
"Aw, okaa-san I was just getting rid of him."  
  
"You don't know what he can do to you. Don't go near dirty half-breeds."  
  
"Hai, hai." He responded as they walked back into their house.

* * *

A few months ago....I had my kaa-san with me all the time. People were still mean to me, but I was happy since my kaa-san was with me. Other then tou- san she was the only one who accepted me. Tou-san was always away. He was the ruler of the western lands. So kaa-san and I just stayed together.  
  
All my life it had been like this. Ever since I could remember, no one accepted me. And I still don't know why everyone hates me. What's this half- breed thing that everyone keeps yelling at me about?  
  
'Kaa-san?'  
  
'Hai?'  
  
'...Do you think one day...someone will like me...?'  
  
'Hai, Inu-chan, one day, you'll find a girl who won't ask you to change and will love you for being you.'  
  
Those were the words kaa-san always said to me.  
  
I pouted, not knowing what she meant. 'You mean that nasty lovy stuff?' I said, sticking a tongue out.  
  
She smiled at me, 'You'll protect her always. No matter what. Because in you're heart you know you love her.'  
  
I started to whine. She never said anything that made sense.  
  
'Kaaaaa-saaannnn I don't know what you're talking about.'  
  
She laughed. 'It's nothing Inu-chan. It's nothing.'  
  
I saw the happiness in her face...Before I went to bed everyday....She'd tell me the same things.  
  
Always....  
  
Always.  
  
...And then I watched her die.  
  
...I remember...  
  
'Kaa-san!!! I have some herbs for dinner!!' I said happily, running into the house.  
  
'Inu-chan!!' She screamed, with concern in her face. 'Hide in here....' She replied, pushing me into a cupboard.  
  
'Kaa...san..?'  
  
'SHH!!' She put a finger to her lips. 'Inu-chan...You're tou-san is outside....If any demons get in here...I want you to stay in here, no matter what sounds you hear.' She said.  
  
I looked at her confused but nodded, and I felt her arms around me. She kissed my forehead. 'I love you Inu-chan. I'll be with you always. Remember, that girl that will accept you for who you are...She's out there.'  
  
'Ka—"  
  
'Shh.....' She said putting a finger to my lips, closing the cupboard. I stayed in there quiet as could be....I didn't understand. Why was tou-san fighting outside? And why am I in here...hiding?  
  
...It seemed quiet. Minutes passed and I couldn't hear anything. But then, I heard an agonizing scream.  
  
'KAA-SAN!' I thought panicking, I pushed at the cupboard, but it was closed tight.  
  
"Where's your son?!"  
  
"What have you done with InuTaishou?!" (A/N That's Inuyasha's dad's name.)  
  
"Heh. We killed him off."  
  
'...Tou-san...? Dead...? But...That can't be..' I thought, listening from inside the cupboard.  
  
"Where's your son?!"  
  
I didn't hear her respond. ....And all I heard after that...Was a slash...and one last scream.  
  
I fought back the tears. It was a joke right? I didn't know what was going on...I heard the people leave my house and I began pounding like mad on the cupboard. It finally opened.  
  
...There was my kaa-san. Covered in her own blood. I approached her quietly. My eyes were blood-shot and my vision was blurry from my tears.  
  
'Kaa-san?' I said softly, trying to shake her awake.  
  
'Kaa-san...?' I repeated. 'Kaa-san you have to wake up....We have to make....dinner...I...I even got us...some...some herbs....' I said, sobbing, hugging her tight.  
  
I sat there the whole night....Hoping it was a dream...Hoping she'd wake up and hold me in her arms....But she didn't. And so I left.

* * *

And now here I am, walking in the cold, trying to find shelter, since no one would give me a place to stay in the village. The rain had gotten harder and so did the wind. I looked up. There was a huge log in front of me, lying on the ground.  
  
...It was all I could find. And so I went in by the hole in the log, and stayed inside. I felt the old wood poke at my skin, cutting me, and giving me splinters, but there was nothing I could do. It was better then nothing.  
  
I saw a clash of lightning in the distance, and a huge roar of thunder followed. I hid my head in my shoulders, afraid, as the droplets of rain continued to fall.  
  
I must've been more tired then I thought. Because I didn't wake up until night of the next day. I winced at the splinters that were in my hands and carefully went outside of the log. I looked down at my hands.  
  
No claws.  
  
My hair was dyed black.  
  
I was human.  
  
Maybe...this time....I could get some food or shelter. I hadn't eaten in days and my stomach was growling in pain. I needed something to eat.  
  
I headed back to the village. The same village that threw rocks at me, taunted me and hated me. It was the only one here, for miles.  
  
I walked up to a door, knocking, when a lady answered. I closed my eyes, afraid of an angry insult she could give me.  
  
"Awww...what's wrong?"  
  
I looked up shocked. This was the first time I came to a village in my human form. And I didn't know they'd treat me so kindly.  
  
"May...May I have a little bit of food..? Please..?"  
  
She smiled at me and handed me some fruits. "Who's that?"  
  
I heard a child say. He walked out and looked at me. "Oh hi! I'm Hiko!" Said a little boy smiling at me.  
  
I blinked. That was the first time someone my age said something nice. I was usually either beaten or hurt.  
  
"What's your name?"  
  
"Inuyasha."  
  
"Inu...yasha? What a weird name." He smiled. I winced at his answer. "Why would your parents give you a name that meant dog-demon..?"  
  
I shrugged, pretending not to know.

* * *

Month after month, I'd come back in my human form. I had even made some new friends.  
  
"Inuyasha, why don't you stay here with us for the night?"  
  
I blinked. "Uhmm...."  
  
I couldn't. I would turn back into a half-demon once the sun came up.  
  
"Aw come on!"  
  
I shrugged, agreeing with him. "But I have to leave before the sun rises."  
  
He shrugged. "Ok!"  
  
The rest of the night, we all played games. It was the first time I had fun with children my age, and I was enjoying it.  
  
Time seemed to fly and it was soon time for bed.  
  
I fell asleep.

* * *

"IT'S THE HALF-BREED!!"  
  
I bolted up looking around rubbing the sleep out of my eyes. The sun was up. I didn't wake up in time before I transformed.  
  
I looked around, everyone was glaring at me. His mother kicked me out of the house.  
  
"Should've known it was you. Filthy dog. Don't you ever come back here."  
  
...And that's when I stopped.  
  
That's when I stopped trying to make friends.  
  
That's when I stopped trying to fit in.  
  
That's when I hid everything inside me.  
  
That's how....That's how....That's how I became the way I am now.  
  
It's...Why I get angered so easily, why I have such an untrusting nature, why I'm rude ......why......everything.  
  
No one accepted me fully. Not even Kikyo....she asked me to change into a human. I couldn't just stay a hanyou...

* * *

I bolted up, looking around, panting. I remembered nearly everything. It must've been some weird dream....Damn these emotions....  
  
I looked down at my hands. I was still human. The night still hasn't come to pass. I sighed heavily.  
  
"Hmmm....." I nearly jumped. I turned to see what the noise was.  
  
Kagome.  
  
I forgot she said she'd stay here with me tonight...  
  
I looked down at her sleeping face.  
  
Then I heard my mother's voice.  
  
' Inu-chan, one day, you'll find a girl who won't ask you to change and will love you for being you.'  
  
I was shocked. I never understood what she meant. And now I did.  
  
Kagome was the only person who ever accepted me for who I was. Even the filthy hanyou everyone called me.  
  
Again I heard my mother's voice.  
  
'You'll protect her always. No matter what. Because in you're heart you know you love her.'  
  
I smiled to myself. I did love her. Even though I don't show it. I do. And Kikyo....I still have my obligations to her and I will avenge her...But Kagome...  
  
I love her. She accepts me. She sees me for the person I am, not for what I am on the outside.  
  
I looked down at her.  
  
"Mpphhh...." She was beginning to shiver, it was cold again. Her eyes were shut tight, and her hands clenched onto that thin piece of cloth she brought.  
  
Smiling still, I pulled off my outer kimono and used it to blanket her.  
  
"Aishiteru, Kagome." I whispered, kissing her on the cheek, careful not to wake her. I'll tell her one day. I'll tell her how I feel. One day...when I get the courage to tell her when she's awake.....I laughed to myself. Tomorrow? ...Maybe not...Maybe...later...  
  
Once again, I lowered my face close to hers.  
  
"Thank you." And with that, I closed my eyes to sleep.

* * *

Kagome opened her right eye, keeping the other one closed, smiling at the now sleeping hanyou. She was awake the whole time.  
  
She smiled. 'I love you too, Inuyasha.'

* * *

AND THAT'S THE END OF MY ONE SHOT! ...Sorry if it was corny..x.x...I actually really liked this. Lol, so please review!! Please please please!! I love reviews!!  
  
If anyone would like another chapter on when/how Inuyasha tells Kagome he loves her...even though he didn't know she was awake the whole time....lol, I think I'd be a funny and fun one to write. I promise it won't be that long, since I have all my other stories to continue. I'm starting to look forward to writing another chappie for this too, so if you want another chappie, , just ask in the review, if u like.  
  
OoO...And if anyone didn't know some of the Japanese words in there (  
  
Houshi = Monk (Sango calls him that all the time in the Japanese version)  
  
Hentai = Pervert  
  
Ano = uhm...  
  
Demo = But  
  
Okaa-san/Kaa-san = Mother  
  
Otou-san/Tou-san = Father  
  
Aishiteru = I love you  
  
Oh, and another thing, to the people who read my other stories, I have updated Life of Fame, I Need You to Listen and Troubles in the Future in the last few days. Sorry for the wait!  
  
If anyone has any other questions, feel free to ask. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!!!!!  
  
Alright!! Thanks to anyone who reads/reviews in advance!!


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